Kimee Luv's Relationship Advice

3 Ways a Guy Can Turn a Female Friend Into a Girlfriend

2009-07-02T01:07:00.000-07:00

Article by: CR James (Author of SuperSeductionPower.com)
Aricle Source: http://ezinearticles.com/?3-Ways-a-Guy-Can-Turn-a-Female-Friend-Into-a-Girlfriend&id=1792293

They say the best relationships start out as being friends. Often times, when you are with someone for long periods of time, it's only natural that you start to have feelings for the other person.

Has friendship with a female friend turned into feelings of love and you want nothing more than for your relationship to be more than just friends?

The following 4 tips should provide you with helpful strategies.

Tip #1: Stop doing things like a girl (her female friend) and start acting like a desirable guy

It's that simple.

There is a distinct difference between a friend and a boyfriend. Your object is to schmooze your way into her life so stop acting like a friend and do things as a boyfriend would.

For instance: if she doesn't have a date for a special event, ask to accompany her. Also, stop over-analyzing how she may react in situations.

Be bold.

Become more confident. Some guys get confused about how to go about this because there are do many approaches out there.

As a result, there's a lot of confusion about what "being confident" means.

Confidence is all about being comfortable with yourself, because no one has the ability to stop you from "deeply accepting" who you are.

Tip #2 Become more manly

Don't make the mistake that some men make by taking the place of her other female friends.

Always act like a man. Even if you are helping her pick out clothes, you want to do it in a way that indicates you are giving her a man's point of view.

Tip #3 Don't make silly seduction mistakes

Your goal is to build desire. She has to WANT YOU on all levels.

Without the perception that you are "sexy" & "desirable", you can't get her to want you and you won't be able to seduce her. When a woman really wants you, there's a certain look in her eyes.

Sexual Relationship Strategist, CR James is the author of Super Seduction Power: http://superseductionpower.com/sspbook

Tips for Ending a Bad Date

2008-07-03T08:38:00.000-07:00

There are few things worse socially than finding yourself on a bad date. You've been excited about the event since the date was agreed, and suddenly you find that all the preparation and anticipation was for nothing. Of course you will be able to dissect what went wrong with your friends later, and perhaps even laugh about it, but first of all you've got to get the date over with. If you ever find yourself in this situation, here are a few tips for you to remember:

1. As soon as you realize that the date's not working, you need to get out of there. If this is a date with someone you've never dated previously have a friend organized to call you on your cell phone about 30 minutes into the date. This way if first impressions are that this date is a mistake, you can excuse yourself on the grounds of some kind of "emergency" announced by the telephone call.

2. Keep the date light. Don't give away any information that's personal if you don't think that this is someone you will date again. Keep your answers as generic as possible and avoid giving out contact information.

3. Don't send out mixed signals. Just because you think this is a bad date, don't assume that the person you're dating feels the same way. Make sure that you don't give your date any reason to assume that you'll be happy to fix another date with them.

4. When you finally manage to finish the date, look for absolute closure on it. Don't tell them you had a great time if you didn't. Don't let them hold your hand. Don't kiss them – even a peck on the cheek – if you have no intentions of dating them again. All of these things send out a signal that you are interested. Instead, smile and thank them for the date, then leave! The longer you stand there feeling awkward and guilty because you didn't have as great a time as they seem to have had, the more awkward the situation is going to get. Be very confident and sure of what you're doing – you're simply saying thank you and goodnight. That's it. Once you've done that, leave before they have a chance to start pressuring you into promising another date!

5. Go home and relax! Don't over analyze the date. Don't get stressed about the fact you didn't have a good time. It was an experience; perhaps not an experience you'd like to repeat, but an experience nevertheless. What you learned from it was that sometimes the people who seem like a good match aren't and the next time you fix up a date you'll be make sure that you have more in common with the person you're going to go out with.

Bad dates happen. Sometimes there's no reason for it other than the fact that you don't have as much in common with your date as you originally thought. If it happens to you, get out of it as fast as possible and move on –don't let it cast a shadow on more of your life than the brief time you actually spent on the date!

~Kimee

Are You Dating a Jealous Person?

2007-10-31T21:38:00.000-07:00

Promise to be honest. :)

Finding a person that you want to date, and then having them want to date you is a wonderful thing. Unfortunately that can soon turn sour if you suddenly find that you are dating someone who is jealous of anyone else in your life, and who creates a fuss if you want to spend time with anyone but them.

A jealous partner isn't just jealous of other people who are attracted to you. They may see this as the biggest threat to your relationship because they don't trust that you won't go out with this other person once you realize that there's an attraction there. But it doesn't end there.

A jealous partner is going to stop you from meeting with people (or even pursuing activities) that doesn't include them. This can even be with members of your family! They won't like it if you tell them that you're spending a weekend at your grandparent's home, they won't like it if you say you're going to hiking for a weekend with some ex college buddies, and if you’ve been invited to party but they haven't - they will expect in this particular situation that you either get them invited, or you don't go!

The problem with dating a jealous person is that they often don't see the problem. They probably think that they are doing what's normal. They will include you in everything that they do - even family gatherings - and while most of this will be because they want to spend time with you, if they have a jealous nature, then there will also be part of this which is because they know if you're with them, you're not with anyone else. Even though you know you’re not interested in anyone else, this constant mistrust of other people in your life is going to make you feel smothered, and also as if it’s you that your partner doesn’t trust.

Jealous partners destroy relationships. No-one wants to account for every minute of every day to someone who is supposed to trust them. If you suspect that your partner is of this nature, you have two choices.

You can either end the relationship. Or you can work on it, realize that most jealousy has a cause - perhaps an ex partner of your partner cheated on them, perhaps one of their parents cheated on the other - locate the cause and see if you can stop your partner from making you pay for someone else's mistake. If you can't, you are either going to have to accept a life of constant scrutiny with your partner controlling who you can and can't see - or find yourself a partner who will let your relationship grow on a foundation of trust.

Kimee Luv

The 4 Reasons Why Good Girls Cheat:
http://www.scribd.com/doc/14206/The-4-Reasons-Why-Good-Girls-Cheat

Dating & F#$king (What went wrong)

2007-08-25T03:52:00.000-07:00

This is a relationship nightmare, especially on the first couple of dates when you are still trying to figure out whether or not you even like the person that you’re dating and if they’re as sincere about things as they seem to be.

The general rule seems to be that you should never sleep with a date until at least the third date. There’s no real logic but it does mean that you get a little breathing space before you start feeling that you “should” be having sex! The general consensus is that you should never have sex on a first date because that’s going to get you a reputation for being “easy”!

General consensus and opinions aside, whether or not you have sex on a date – and which date – is only up to one person (well two if you want to include your partner’s opinion on the matter), and that’s you! Only you know whether or not you are comfortable enough with your date to want to jump in bed with him. No-one else really has the right to tell you that it’s too early and it’s not the done thing, or for that matter to pressure you into something that you’re not ready for when you’ve had a dozen dates with your partner and haven’t got past a chaste kiss on the cheek! Only you know when you’re ready to make that physical bond.

The worst situation with dating and sex is when there is an expectation that your date has created. They are clearly anticipating an intimate experience with you during or after the date. If you’re up for it, that’s great. If you’re not, then you need to get this out in the open as soon as possible and give your date a chance to find another bed partner for the night if that’s all they’re looking for.

Don’t feel guilty about saying “no” on this subject to your date. Honesty now is better than getting them angry and feeling that you led them on later in the evening. It’s also better feeling guilty with them than feeling bad about yourself because you caved in to their expectations and did something that you didn’t want to do.
Listen to your mind and your body.

They will tell you when the time is right to take your relationship to the next level. This could very well be within the first couple of dates if the chemistry is right and your intuition is telling you that your date is not just in the relationship for sex.

On the other hand, it could be quite some time – especially if you’ve had a bad experience in the past after sleeping with a date early on in the relationship – before you’re ready. Remember, there’s only one person’s opinion on when sex becomes an option within the relationship, and that’s yours!

Love,
Kimee Luv

PS: I'm working on a NEW book (yaahh!!!), so if you have any relationship questions email me at kimeeluv@gmail.com and I will listen to your story & situation and try to help you... (kiss, kiss)

How We Match with Other People

2007-08-25T03:32:00.000-07:00

Finding a partner means that you need to find someone who matches with what you believe to be important. This is something that's very individual. What isn't important for one person is a crucial element of someone else's relationship. So how do you find out what matches are important for you?

The first thing you need to do is to accept that it will be a very rare thing to find someone who is a complete 100% match for you. Without accepting this you can waste a lot of time looking for a "perfect" match instead of the "best" match, so slightly lower your expectations and make sure you know what things you can happily live with compromising about.

We all want to find common ground with the people we are close to. So knowing yourself is part of finding a good match in a partner. What is it that you enjoy doing? What kind of movies/music/books do you enjoy? What strong opinions do you have? It isn't important that your potential partner likes all of the same things that you do, but you are more likely to be attracted to people who have some overlap with your interests.

There's a school of thought that says that opposites attract. This isn't always a good idea however, especially if you have nothing whatsoever in common with the person you're dating. Matching with other people means that you have some similar beliefs, opinions and interests – especially about things that are important to you. If your religion is important to you for example, then while you may not need to have a partner who is of the same religion, you do need a partner who respects your beliefs.

If you are very sporty then you need a partner who at least shows a willingness to share your enthusiasm about your activities if not your experiences!
The best way to find people who match what is important to you is to find groups of people who follow the same kind of interests.

Internet dating is another way of finding a supply of potential dating partners who match with your important criteria. Here you'll even be able to place a number of pre-requisite attributes and have the website search system locate the best matches for your ideal date.

The best way to match with someone is to know yourself. Start off with finding where your priorities in life are, and where you want to go, and then use this as a basis for learning what kind of person your ideal match will be. It may not be possible to find exactly what you're hoping for, especially if you have a number of very specific personality/lifestyle wishes, but if you prioritize what are your most important factors, then you'll at least know where you're prepared to compromise.

~Kimee

The top 10 ways to flatter a man

2007-05-29T11:56:00.000-07:00

Do not think for one moment that a man is foolish enough to be manipulated by false flattery. The greatest compliment you can give a man is complete honesty. Yes flattery is honest, or else it could not possibly be flattering. Lying to him does not make him feel good about himself.
This is not about mindless flattery. This is about making a man feel good about himself.

Here are the top 10 ways on how to flatter a man. He deserves to feel good about himself.

1. Men are the hunter providers. Since the dawn of time, his life task has been to provide, and the harder he works, the better he provides. Let him know that you know he is there and he is the one that provides for your needs. This does not particularly mean that he’s the one bringing home the most money. It could be your companionship, or the rock that you lean on.
It doesn’t matter what it is that he provides to you. He has provided you with something.
There are so many ways to be a provider. He may provide some tender loving care. He may provide the best laughs. Let him know that what he provides is just right for you.
Flatter him by thanking him for being the man that provides for you.

2. Compliment his great looks.
We women spend oodles of time and an obscene amount of money since before we were grown pampering to our looks. Our reward is growing up with the confirmation that we are attractive to the opposite sex.
Imagine never ever receiving a compliment on the way we look. Welcome to a man’s world.
He doesn’t have to be built like the Greek god Adonis to have a great body. Certainly, if he is, you are doing him an injustice by not rewarding him by saying so.
Tell him how great he looks to you. If you like his warm snuggly chest or his cute little boy smile, tell him.
Flatter him, its a fair and just reward for all these times he looked at you and said “Wow.”

3. Pay attention, notice him.
If you noticed he has taken the time to dress just right for the occasion, tell him so.
Look at him, if he has taken the time to shave nice and close, let him know you get it. Perhaps he took the time to condition or brush his hairy lip, notice it.
This is not just physical either. Notice him if he looks happy or sad, and let him know you care.

4. Tell him how great he makes you feel
Every man I have ever been in a relationship with has striven to make me feel good. Whether it has been in or out of the bedroom, he has vied for my attention by trying to make me feel good. Sometimes this has been by simple gestures, and many times the first thing a man has done to make me feel good was simply look at me.
I think a man deserves to hear how good he makes you feel. When he asks you “how was that”? Don’t turn around and chastise him for asking that question. ( I know, sure he’d have to ask, didn’t he notice I moved, and what did he think that noise I was making was) He simply asked “how do I make you feel” in his man sort of way.
5. Show him you trust him.
Don’t think for one moment he is flattered that you get jealous. He hates this. He needs for you know that he is a good and honorable man.
I’m sorry girls “I don’t like you looking at that other girl, it’s all about me, me, me” does not convey any sort of positive message all. Many men will find your jealousy a complete insult against all the admirable qualities a good man values.
Flatter your man and compliment his values with trust.

6. Compliment his skills from time to time.
If he is an athlete, attend his sport competitions. Stand on the side line and shout his name, call him on and treat him just as you would your favorite star player.
If he doesn’t play sports, take some time to see how good he is at the things that he enjoys doing, and let him know who the star is in your book.

7. Let him know he was right from time to time.
It happens, hard to believe but that’s life. Sometimes he might have been right. Even those times he wasn’t really right, perhaps he might have had a point somewhere. Acknowledge this. It not only makes him feel good, its fair play.

8. Laugh at his jokes.
If he made an attempt to be humorous, he is trying to entertain you and would love to hear you laugh. Who cares if you snort when you laugh or sound like you’re about to lay an egg. Let it out, he earned the right to hear you giggle. And this makes him feel great.

9. Appreciate him and the things he does for you.
Not only is it right to flatter him by expressing your appreciation for the little things he does for you, it’s just plain good manners.
Don’t just say thank you for the coffee in the morning, let him know how you appreciate this small thoughtful gesture. Flatter him by pointing a few of these little gestures out. His sweetness should not go unnoticed.

10. Love him. Simply love him for who he is.

Flattering a man, and making him feel good about himself is not submissive “man worship”, it is encouragement to bring out the best of him, and therefore reflective to bring out the best in you.

My motto is “what comes around goes around,” and I could sure do with a little flattery from time to time.

Sex

2007-05-06T00:46:00.000-07:00

Sex is one of the biggest relationship topics that people approach when their relationship is in trouble. It always seems to go back to something related to sex.

Sex in a relationship should be fun and exciting. It should be a way to communicate feelings of love and to be together in the most intimate of ways. Sex should not be a chore or something used as a bartering tool. Many people abuse sex in their relationship which completely takes it from something enjoyable to something that becomes a problem.

Part of keeping sex fun is learning not to misuse it. Sex should be something that comes naturally. It should not be used as a prize or something to be won. It should not be a form of punishment – such as withholding sex. Sex should be the ultimate way to connect with your partner. It should be fun.

It is common in relationships to allow life to ruin your sex life. When life is full of responsibilities like kids and work, people sometimes feel too tired to put any effort into their sex life. This is when the fun can really drain out of sex.

It can help if couples think of sex in terms of quality over quantity. Many times people start to feel that they have to have sex so many times in a period of time or else they are having problems. When a couple is too tired or too busy, what ends up happening is that the sex becomes routine and not fun at all. So, instead of trying to have sex so many times, a couple should focus on having good sex. People would be surprised at just how much more exciting one time of good sex can be compared to five times of so-so sex.

Besides simply the act of actually intercourse, couples should revive the cuddling and foreplay the surely had when their relationship was new. Sex shouldn’t be a quick how to do and that’s it. Sex should be long and lasting. It doesn’t even have to be actual intercourse. There are many ways to have sex without actually having sex and they can be just as enjoyable as the act itself.

Other things to try to spice up your sex life and make it fun again are to try doing it in different places. Step out of the bedroom for once and get a little crazy. Bring in props, like food items or sex toys to help add some spice. Try whatever feels good and go with it. As long as both partners are having fun then it is working.

Sex is supposed to be fun. The old joke about married life and no sex doesn’t have to be true. People in a long-term relationship can still have the fun sex they did when they first got together. It just may take some effort and a little focus on both people’s part to ensure their sex life doesn’t go from fun to flat.

Relating Without Stres

2007-04-16T04:37:00.000-07:00

While there’s probably no such thing as stress free relationships - being that we’re flawed human beings with all sorts of pressures - there are things we can do to create relationships that are as stress free as humanly possible. Humor is one of the key ingredients in making this happen.

Having a sense of humor about ourselves may be the first step in creating something close to stress free relationships. Nobody really likes to be teased or kidded, but sometimes it’s all in good fun. Not only that, the ones who seem to get the most annoyed about being kidded are the ones that do most of the kidding of others.

Lighten up, as the saying goes. It’s important however, that you don’t let yourself be subject to ridicule, debasement or sexually inappropriate comments to “get along.” If that’s happening that stress free relationship you’re trying to achieve is truly with the wrong person. People who care about each other don’t debase them.

Perhaps they say things that are mean put downs in anger but they don’t make fun of each other. Teasing each other or kidding around is not the same as laughing at each other. If you’re not sure if someone is laughing at you, as in ridiculing you, try laughing it off, assuming the point is not to ridicule you. If the person is truly bent on making you feel bad she or he will be disappointed at your reaction. Then you’ll know. Then the best thing you can do is look elsewhere for stress free relationship. This person is not your friend.

Neuroscientists have actually looked at the difference in the humor of men and women. Women tend to mock themselves and improvise humor to do so. Their idea of creating stress free relationships is having someone who understands when they laugh at themselves they’re not denigrating themselves. The reason women do this, according to scientists, is that they are nurturers and caregivers and this humor is their way of coping with the sometimes constant stream of minor emergencies that occur in their day.

Men, however, have to have status and sometimes dominance to have what they consider stress free relationships. Laughter, they believe, puts them down and reduces that status. Men have humor but it’s the rehearsed kind. It generally has nothing to do with themselves. Having that audience that takes the laughter away from themselves but gives them the “floor” is part of their way of creating stress free relationships and pride in themselves.

Women who want stress free relationships with their mates, then, do so by laughing at the guy’s jokes, making him feel special. Men who want stress free relationships with their mates learn to chuckle when she says something that sounds like she’s putting herself down but is only her way of laughing herself out of a bad humor about something she said or did.

Is this Relationship Healthy?

2007-04-14T16:07:00.000-07:00

If you’re wondering, “What is a healthy relationship?” remember one word. That word is respect. A healthy relationship is about showing each other respect (did you hear that David E. Hackins!!!), and treating each other like equals.

It’s not about fulfilling your own dreams by living through your partner’s, and it’s not about putting someone else down so that you can build yourself up. And it's also not about screwing my ex- best friend Sandi The Whore who participated in at least 2 gang bangs in High School (that I know of - oh wait that was suppose to be a secret.

:)

A healthy relationship is one in which you both have fun being together. Granted there are times when fun is not an ingredient – that happens in all relationships. Tragedies and illness can impede the ability to have fun together. But a strong healthy relationship can provide some enjoyment in the most mundane day to day task just because you do them together. Planting the garden, fixing dinner, washing dishes, or washing the car are chores that can be fun, or at least less tedious, because you have someone you love by your side helping you complete the tasks.

A healthy relationship is one in which you don’t have to be “on your best behavior” or putting up some pretext of being anything you aren’t just to impress the other person. In a healthy relationship you can be yourself, and be confident in the knowledge that the other person loves the real you.

In a healthy relationship you can disagree with your partner without it hurting the relationship. There are some exceptions, of course.

Disagree in front of the children about their upbringing or discipline is not good, nor is making disparaging comments about your mates’ opinion. You can also have some interests that your partner doesn’t share, and can act out on them without their having to feel unhappy because you do so. If the two of you have common interests that you take the time to enjoy together but one night a week she goes bowling and you, her partner, go play poker with friends you’re having a healthy relationship. In fact, your enjoyment of each other’s company will probably be enhanced by the occasional separation.

You have a healthy relationship if you both listen to the other, and value her or his opinion. That doesn’t mean you have to be swayed by her or his opinion every time, but you should at least consider it valuable and coming from a source whose wisdom you acknowledge.

A healthy relationship is one built on trust. Jealousy is human (a human named David Hackins who doesn't have the ability to last for longer than 2 minutes during sex)(by the way, whenever we made love I would wait for you to go to sleep so that I could make MYSELF cum).

Learn how to f%ck!!!!

(http://klsex.sexmaster.hop.clickbank.net)

(please. I'm begging)

We don’t own our partners Sir David. While trust means that we accept our partners’ unwillingness to deliberate cause us hurt or pain, it would be foolish to carry trust to the point that we don’t sometimes put our foot down to protect the relationship. Trusting our husband to be faithful is good, but letting him spend quality time with a female friend from work is just tempting the hand of fate. A healthy relationship is built on trust, but it’s also built on reasonable parameters of the relationships with others that we allow.

Love Kimee

What Causes Relationships To Fail

2007-04-03T13:36:00.000-07:00

If you’re wondering what causes relationships to fail, here are some tips (especially if your name is David Hackins and you are the biggest fucking asshole to walk the Earth!)

It's about deception.

Deception is the number one thing that causes relationships to fail. (especially if your name is David Hackins and a group of scientist have genetically confirmed that you have more asshole-ness per cell tissue than any human that ever existed!!) If one partner is evasive, dishonest and especially if he or she is a CHEAT, this can certainly cause the relationship to fail.

Hidden resentment can cause a relationship to fail too. If something is bothering you in the relationship and you let it fester it will just get worse. You must let your partner know what is going on in your head so the two of you can sit down together and figure out how to resolve the problem.

Punishing your partner will cause the relationship to fail. Heading into a relationship by thinking you can change someone is wrong, wrong, wrong. Not only does it not work, it just makes you both miserable. It also can cause the relationship to fail. Once the glitter wears off, the new relationship and the little things she or he does start to annoy you, punishing your partner for them won’t stop them. It will probably increase the bad habits out of obstinancy at your suggestion he or she is not adored as is.

One of the major causes that relationships fail is because of money problems. If one is making more than the other, especially if the woman is making the most, it can be demeaning to the mate. Worse yet, if one is making most of the money and the other is spending most of it, or one is frugal and the other a spend-thrift all kinds of problems can come to the relationship. Even if both agree on money matters and talk them over together, financial difficulties can still cause problems with a relationship.

The stress of losing a home or struggling to pay off old debts can take the relationship from fun and companionship together to stress, strain, tears, fears and depression that make each other miserable.

An unfair division of the work at home can cause many relationships to fail. With the acknowledgement of women’s equality in some ways women have it worse. They know get to climb the corporate ladder with its late night meetings and weekend work at home. But they’re still all too often the one who does all or most of the housework and the child care. This kind of resentment, and fatigue and stress can be the death knell of the relationship. A man who wants his relationship to succeed should do his half of taking care of their home.

Another way in which the child care can cause a relationship to fail is if you and your partner don’t agree on the child-rearing, especially if you argue in front of the children. In this, like in every part of a relationship there must be compromise. Of course, this is one of the more serious areas. You mustn’t give in to allow your partner verbally or physically abuse your children. If that is happening, the relationship could fail – it should fail.

Love,
Kimee

How To Get A Man To Screw Your Brains Out

2007-04-03T12:34:00.000-07:00

If you want to know how to attract the opposite sex, read these five tips.

The first tip on how to attract the opposite sex is to stand out in a crowd. Being the center of attention will create the illusion that you are worth getting to know. After all, everyone else evidently thinks so, so why shouldn’t that special she or he as well? If you can’t do or say something to draw a crowd (no, not something tawdry) then simply stand in the center of the room.

It works. :)

Bars are the exception to this standing in the center rule. Yes, it’s still good to be the center of attention, but for some reason the best place to get noticed in a bar is in the corner. No, not on a timeout facing the wall, or looking like a scared little wallflower - but sitting at the end of the bar. Don’t sit at a table. You’re less approachable in a bar when you’re at a table, and someone of the same sex is bound to ask to join you if the bar is crowded.

Color is important in your attempt to attract the opposite sex. Not only can it help you attract the opposite sex but you can also have some control of which of the opposite sex you attract by choosing the colors of your wardrobe.

Color consultants have studied color’s effect on the opposite sex and the determination is that most women find men who wear blue the most attractive of those wearing any other color. Blue conveys a message of stability, constancy, dependability and faithfulness. Of course, the fact that clothes and their colors match – that the tie coordinates with that blue suit and the socks aren’t green – helps make a good impression as well.

For women who want to know how to use color to attract the opposite sex, the generally safe color is pink or peach. It makes a woman’s skin glow with a look of health, no matter what her skin tone is. These are the colors that convey soft and vulnerable too, which macho males are attracted to. Now, if you want to make sure you don’t convey vulnerability, if you’re strong and you want the man to know it and you want to be sure and find a guy for whom this isn’t a threat, then wear a deep red, plum or burgundy.

Red is certainly the most sensual of colors, but it’s also the most powerful too. The two types of men that red will attract are those attracted to powerful women and those who are interested primarily in sex. With red you might find the man who isn’t threatened by your strength, but you also may have to weed through a lot of horny chaff to finally find him.

If you want to find out how not to attract the opposite sex wear yellow green. They’re sure to stay away in droves.

Finding Perfection in Love (Kimee Style)

2007-04-01T05:53:00.000-07:00

I have a lot of my girl friends ask me about the perfect relationship, because at one time at had that. But I don't anymore because David Hackins is a fucking moron!!!!!!! (who should be given extra strength prescription death pills)

(relax Kimee)

(taking a deep breath)

The question of what defines the perfect relationship need not be that complicated. As far as I'm concerned the perfect relationship is defined, simply, as one in which two people who want the same things from the relationship are paired with each other.

That doesn’t mean that what defines a perfect relationship is that both love to play baseball, and drink margaritas. Nor does it mean that both love mystery novels and horror movies. What it does mean is that both enter the relationship for the same level of commitment and agreeing on the major issues.

A woman who wants to get married and have three kids is not going to have a perfect relationship with someone who thinks the most commitment he’ll ever make is moving in together. Nor is the perfect relationship one in which they both want marriage but only one of them wants to have children.

The perfect relationship is possible, though perfection is seldom achieved. Having something close to perfection in a relationship – or at least the absence of disaster – takes a lot of introspection and quite a bit of effort. Before you really start looking for that perfect relationship you must know what defines a perfect relationship for you. Not doing so and entering the dating arena would be tantamount to entering a contest without knowing what determines the winner.

When it comes time for you to think about what defines the perfect relationship question you need to think about several things.

You need to think, first of all, if marriage defines your perfect relationship. Have you thought for years about your beautiful wedding day? Have you fantasized about the white picket fence and the two children you and your spouse will have and raise? Or might you be perfectly happy, or even prefer, a live-in arrangement with maybe only a mortgage or business commitment together?

When you think about your perfect relationship do you see it defined as one in which the two of you grow old and grey together? Or might you be monogamous with one partner for a few years and then perhaps go on to another and go it alone for awhile?

How do you feel about children? Are they part of what defines your relationship? Might you tolerate a blended family in which you would be raising someone else’s children, the children of your new partner by a prior relationship? Or do you run kicking and screaming the other way when a potential mate mentions children? Is being your best friend part of what defines your perfect relationship? Or, do you prefer something more casual, with the title best friend kept for your drinking buddy?

Just how independent you are also is a large part of deciding what defines your perfect relationship. Are you looking for a partner who will be by your side for every special occasion, meal and recreation, or do you need a few nights with friends, or by yourself?

The answer, then, to what defines the perfect relationship, lies within you. After all, it’s your perfect relationship.

~Kimee :)